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Words of Wisdom.
This page is a collection of stories and advice submitted from different women who have had an abortion. Some women are prolife, some are prochoice, some had a positive experience with abortion, some had a negative one. The point of this page is not to push any particular view of abortion, but simply to allow a place for women to share their thoughts on this, and to give their personal feelings about unplanned pregnancies. If you are pregnant, and trying to decide what to do, remember that no one here is a 'licensed professional counselor', and no one else can really decide what is best for your life except YOU! So browse what has been submitted, and read what other women have to say, but only use this as information for you to consider. A decision about what to do with a pregnancy is difficult, and the results of such decisions are irreversible, whether it's keeping the baby, giving it up for adoption or choosing an abortion. Don't make any decisions about your pregnancy without meeting with a professional counselor, and thinking hard about how the decision you make will affect your life.
- BestAdvice: My advice is mainly don't blindly take the guy's word for it if he claims to have
a vasectomy. Ask detailed questions BEFORE sex takes place and still use
other protection of your own. "Randy" claimed he had a vasectomy and kept
insisting he didn't need condoms but I still got pregnant anyway. What's worse
is that it's an ectopic pregnancy and though it's being treated by chemical means,
it still remains to be seen if I can still have other children after this. (At my age,
probably not likely.)
BestAdvice: I have now had 2 abortions. I was okay after my first, I was young, poor, man-less, everything. My most recent one was exactly that, recent. I was going to keep the baby, only because I could not go through this again, but I gave into pressure and did it. I saw my baby's heartbeat 2 days before my surgery (if you are going to have an abortion, please don't get an ultrasound and see this, you will not get it out of your head), I kept both of my sonogram pictures, another bad idea. I would never tell someone NOT to have an abortion, every situation is different. I am 30 years old and at a time in my life where my maternal hormones are flowing. For some reason, I felt such a strong bond with my unborn child. I sang songs to him, I touched him when I was sad... I told him of all the things we would do together. I bought a house with an extra room for a nursery. But your hormones are just so crazy when you are pregnant, one wrong thing that someone says, and boom, it's over. It was Thursday night and everyone was hounding me about not having a father, losing this and that, yadda yadda... so I gave in and the very next morning, I experienced the worst day of my life. I almost walked out 4 times and now I wish I had. More than anything, I wish I had. I am also going through some medical problems resulting from the surgery which makes it worse. Today, I was at the hospital having some tests run. In the waiting room, there was a woman with her 6 day old baby, my ab was 6 days ago. I sat and stared at them and cried like a baby, I lost control badly. My best advice, if you have ANY doubts, please talk to counselors, not friends or family... talk to people that do not know you. If you have doubts at all, you will feel guilt... you need to decide if you can live with it. I can't. Simple as that... my life is FOREVER changed because of a decision I made. I can't take it back, it is permanent... so is motherhood. I don't wish this decision on anyone, but know that medically, after an abortion, there is a REAL possibility that you will experience post partum depression, I dont' handle depression well, so I am not dealing well with this at all. Whatever you do, make the decision for YOU, nobody else, YOU and YOU alone... what is best for YOU, do NOT let anyone make your mind up for you. You will be the one that lives with your decision either way, everyone else will go on, but will you?
- BestAdvice: a big here here to the fact that no one can prepare you for your hearts pain.
bodily pain will go. here's my truth:
accept that instead of 'carrying' this child for nine months, you will now 'carry'
this child forever.
it will live in your heart till your last breath.
you will always wonder and never know. yes intensities of emotions will fade.
never can we know the satisfaction of their smiles or the joys of their hearts.
which is the heavier price? knowing them or always wondering?
may you walk your path with eyes wide open, heart soft, and mind alert.
- BestAdvice: Okay I had a Late Term Abortion. I do not regret my decision at all. The guy was 27 and didn't really care for me at all. I knew from the next morning that I was pregnant. I am ashamed that I did not act on it sooner than I did. I have always been a good student and friend and I was scared to tell anyone that I was pregnant. The guy went on about his business and never even knew and we no longer have contact. Which I really didn't talk to him much anyway. HE was my biggest mistake. I didn't want to have a baby for my mother to raise. And I did not want a baby that did not have a father. The abortion itself was not as bad as described in some of these posts. But that is my opinion. I guess it was because I had already been looking at alternatives anyway. I didn't want to tell my mom..I was gaining weight so I began to go on a serious diet and began taking diet pills excessively so they probably harmed the baby anyway. I know the emotional effects are different for every girl. But I have no regrets. I didn't even want to know the sex of the baby. I had to do a 2 day procedure and after it was all over with I felt more relief than ever before and the best thing was that my mother supported me in every way. I would just like to tell Everyone in this situation Think it through and PRAY to GOD and he will help you with your decision as HE did with me. HE is my Strength and Courage. HE has helped me to turn my life around and Become a better person.HE will do the same for you. I hope this will benefit someone.
BestAdvice: WOW, My best advise to someone feeling Lost, not knowing what to do, is consider what your life will be after wards. The clinic won't tell you about all the emotional stuff you will go through. The fact that you are here reading this message is because you are scared. And you should be!! The pain is the worst you will EVER feel. I'm not just speaking of the physical pain(which is HORRIBLE) The emotional and spiritual torment you will experience is unspeakable. I'm not sure what kind of beliefs you have, I am a Christian and this was totally against what plan God had for me and my child. I went through (still going through) the questions of my spirit. I have devoted my life now to help women who have made this "choice" to end there pregnancy. And let me tell you, that the experience WILL CHANGE YOU. Your life now, is easy, compared to the HELL you will go through seeking forgiveness and healing...and that little voice that is telling you not to do it, that's the Holy Spirit, talking to you. Listen!!!
BestAdvice: Although you will probably be hearing a lot of people telling you their advice and opinions,maybe someone is telling you what to do,etc.. My only advice is listen to your heart and head.Dont be forced, or feel pressure to do something that you do not feel is right.do it for yourself.Please do what is best for you.
It will be difficult, and emotional, but being faced with a decision like this is also a voyage of self discovery .You really have to think about what you want, and what will work for you.Talk to others if this helps, and listen to other peoples wisdom, advice, and opinions.Please Please, only do what you feel is good for you on your journey.It will be Ok in the end if you are true to yourself.
- Don't go through this process alone. Find someone to trust who can work through this with you. If you decide to have an abortion, don't hide your feelings afterward. You may have some strong ones that won't just go away. Get onto the web, talk to friends (if you can), get counseling, rely on others. Learn from what you have done and make changes if you need to--with the help of others. Know that others (like me) are pulling for you, whatever you do.
BestAdvice: Even if an abortion is the best decision, and the right decision to make in your situation, be aware that it may still may cause pain and be hard to deal with.
This may sound like common sense but I was so pro-choice and in such a hard situation that I thought I would have no problem living with my decision.
I was very wrong and still feel pain even though I still think I did what was best for everyone
- BestAdvice: I used to say I had no regrets in my life; that was BEFORE the abortion. Now I will always have that one regret. You will always wonder; would it have been a girl/boy, what he/she would have looked like, what they would have like/hated. You can NEVER change your mind. Imagine loosing a child- now Imagine not ever knowing that child. That's a taste of what's to come from an abortion. A year later I dream everyday of being able to go back to that day and making a different choice.
BestAdvice: One thing I would like to tell someone who is considering having an abortion is that it will not solve all of your problems. I have had 4 abortions and when you have 1 it kind of makes it that much more logical to do it again. I'm not saying it makes it easier. In fact, every abortion was harder to have than the one before it. But at each one I felt that I had no other choice. Remember that there are other choices out there. They may not seem as easy right now, but believe me having an abortion is not easy. Some people give the argument that they could never give up a child for adoption because they would love it too much and couldn't stand thinking that their baby was out there somewhere and they would never see them again.
I was one of those people who told myself that very thing over and over again. What you don't know now is that you will miss this child too. sometimes you may feel bouts of unbelievable sadness. It is not an easy situation that you have gotten yourself into if you are reading this because you are considering an abortion and there is no easy answer.
When I came home after having my last abortion I felt completely worthless. I knew that I didn't deserve to be anyone's mother and, in fact, was convinced that I had used up all of my chances. I cried and cried and sat in the dark for months. Some people might say, " Well it sounds like you needed help before you had an abortion. Abortion wasn't your problem". You know what? They're right. I did. I didn't need someone to make an appointment to have an abortion for me I needed help.
You probably aren't considering your 4th abortion right now. For me to even admit that I had 4 is hard.
But what I can say, is that I talk to women everyday who regret what they did. Even some who did it when it was still illegal in the 1960's. On the other had a girl from my high school just got to meet a daughter that she had given up for adoption in 1971. This girl became an instant grandmother and couldn't believe the joy that she felt just looking at her grown daughter.
I won't ever have that opportunity. Even though I do have 3 children now, they don't make up for the feelings I have about the other pregnancies. Would I have my children now if I had a baby then? I don't know. All I know is that I have to use what I have learned from my mistakes to help someone else possibly avoid one. Having an abortion is not free.
BestAdvice: The best advice I can give someone who is facing an unwanted pregnancy is don't think abortion is an easy out. I had an abortion when I was 15 years old and it has been devastating. Of course at first I thought I had made the right decision. After all, my parents were born again Christians, the guy I was with was 25 years old, and of course, I was only 15. What I didn't realize was that I had not only just set myself up for emotional hell, I had taken a precious life that was given to me by God to love and protect. It says in the bible, which I believe is the true word of God, in Psalm 139:13-16 "For you created my inmost being;you knit me together in my mothers womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, you saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." So this tells us that God loved us before we were even created and that he had a plan for our lives. He felt the same way about my baby and He feels the same about yours too. Even if you're in the hardest circumstances there is, nothing is too hard for God and he can take something like this and turn it around to be something beautiful. I know this from personal experience and I also know what it is like to make the right decision. When I was sixteen, I got pregnant again.(not same father) This time I learned from my past decision that abortion is not the way. Instead I learned that Jesus is the way and that he would help me through and he would help me tell my family. My family and my Jesus gave me grace. Something I did not deserve. And so now I have a beautiful daughter named Grace who is the love of my life. Please know that God will help you when you make the right decision and that the rewards of keeping your baby are so much greater than the feeling of a quick and easy "out". I pray you make the right decision. Feel free to email me with any questions or if you just need to talk. I will not judge you.
BestAdvice: The Horrible Situation You are in Now does not even Compare To the Hell you will go thru after an abortion.
i thought my life was hell before i got pregnant. i thought having an abortion would keep my secret hidden, and that i would be able to move on with my life afterwards. i was wrong. the abortion was the worst pain physically and emotionally anyone could ever experience. having an abortion killed me inside. i was lied to. there is pain, there is guilt, there are nightmares, and there is so much regret.
i love you rebekah, and i am so very sorry. if i could go back, i would have chose to let you live. no matter how bad my situation was, you should not have to had paid the penalty for my mistakes.
please do not put yourself thru this hell. if you need help of any kind, please email me. i will be more than happy to do anything i can so that you will not have to go thru what i had to.
BestAdvice: Any woman who is ever in a situation like an unplanned pregnancy knows what it's like to be scared. Not knowing what to do or who to turn to.
I know that feeling all to well. I got pregnant twice last year by the same guy. Both of them ended in abortion. At the time I really didn't want to do
it but I had no choice. My parents only gave me that option and my boyfriend wasn't being very supportive. I can now look back and honestly say it
the best thing to do for me and him. We are now engaged and we talk about what could have been. But we both now that we could not deal with
having a 3 month old baby right now. I've had several friends come to me and ask what do i do. And I always tell them to do what is best for you.
To do what your heart tells you to do. Not what anyone or anything tells you what is best.
BestAdvice: The first thing I would like to say is that I cannot tell anyone how to live their lives, but I had an abortion one year ago, and I can tell you how it has affected me.
It was a hard decision but I felt it was right for me. I was in nursing school, I am young, the father denied the child I was carrying. Things like that... after my abortion, I thought I was
ok, then all the emotions in the world came. I started thinking about that little child that had been growing inside me. I thought about what it would be like to see it's precious face. It has been the worst and most terrible thing I have ever been through. I wish now
that I had my child. I wish and regret that I had not choose abortion, but all I can say to you is to PLEASE think hard before your decision. The fastest way out is not always the easiest...
BestAdvice: All I know is at the time I was young and didn't know what to do. I made a decision that has forever changed my life and I regret it everyday. All I can say is please think about how you'll feel afterwards and that even though it may seem like there is know way you can have a baby....THERE IS. There are plenty of options out there and I just don't want anyone to go through the pain that I have and continue to deal with.
BestAdvice: when I had my ab I was senior in high school and I was a rodeo queen, I was involved in many activities, my guy was the star athlete had a baseball scholarship etc, anyway all we wanted to have at that moment was our fun and activities, after the ab, all we wanted was our baby back. We both eventually stopped doing those things we loved so much, we were in such a panic we didn't think for a second this was a life we created, not an opportunity to play baseball or a chance to wear a crown, and it was a chance that we will never have again, we used to sit around and talk about how great our lives were going to be and how much fun we'd have, now we sit around and talk about our child
BestAdvice: This is my advice, if you have even the smallest amount of doubt about how an abortion will affect you, then DONT DO IT. I was in agony before I did it, but I felt I had nowhere to turn, and the father put an incredible amount of pressure on me. I knew it would mess me up badly but I didn't know how much. If you really want an abortion for whatever reason then I respect that, but dont let anyone, especially the father, pressure you into it. And dont be afraid to tell your family or friends you are pregnant, either. I was suicidal after my abortion and my family ended up finding out everything, and they felt very bad for me, but they also said I made the wrong choice. Now I realize, too late, that even though they may not have approved of me having a child, they would have liked that option a lot more than the one I chose, and they wouldn't be worrying about me having a nervous breakdown or committing suicide either. I would do anything to have my baby back. Having an abortion when you dont want one makes you sick, it is horrible, just read some of the message boards and you will see how devastating it can be. If I can ever stop one woman from having an abortion AGAINST HER WILL, I will feel at least a little bit better. Even if everyone else bails out on you, which probably wont happen, at least you and your baby will have each other. Dont have an abortion unless you are 200% sure you want one. I also had medical complications from it which will affect my future pregnancies :( The medical problems ended up costing me about $3600, no kidding. So abortion isn't always the "simple" solution, if anything, it can only make things worse. Please think and just be sure.
BestAdvice: I can only say look at the whole picture before making the decision. Do research
as soon as you find out you are pregnant...DON'T let anyone pressure you. If you
do go through with an abortion, please seek therapy for PASS, eventually
something my trigger it some years later.
- BestAdvice: It hasn't even been 2 months for me, but I am sure it was a big mistake. I think my biggest mistake was wanting everyone else to be happy and not considering what I really wanted. I gave to much control to the father and too little love to myself and my baby. I agreed to abort for his sake and his future. Now he won't talk to me or even repay me for his half of the procedure. He told my best friend that he feels he's "paid enough." They (men) never pay enough. I am having a cervical biopsy in a week and this pregnancy may have been the only I will ever have. Abortion is so final. I think if I would have had those 9 months to think, things would have been so different. I never knew you could love an unborn child so much, but you really can. I'm still working through my feelings for the father. Honestly, right now I hate him. He hasn't been there for me emotionally and I've just been really hurt about that. On the bright side, I am graduating from college in 2 weeks and moving far, far away. In many ways I am thankful I won't have to share a life with a man who chose to abort his child rather than tell his parents and be "cut-off" financially. I saved my child from what might have been a horrible childhood. It's true you never really know someone until you've seen them in crisis, but abortion doesn't have to be the final answer. Give yourself some time to think about what you truly want for you and YOUR baby. A beautiful friend who helped me take my first step to recovery this past week told me "Don't let anyone tell you how to feel." Regardless of how you feel, if you are pregnant, you are a mother and you have to do what is best for you and your baby in your heart. The wonderful thing about the heart is that it NEVER lies to you, unfortunately we just chose not to listen to it sometimes. God Bless and Good Luck. Please e-mail me with your questions and/or advice ANYTIME!!!
BestAdvice: Before you go into an abortion you need to express all of your concerns with the abortion counselor. Make sure that if you are given Ibuprofen or a sedative, your abortion is at the scheduled time, so it won't wear off. I highly suggest I.V. sedation. I didn't have it and well...the "small pinching/cramping sensation they tell you you'll feel is crap. Be prepared for intense cramping.
- BestAdvice: Although I had huge support from both my family and friends, abortion has to be the most isolating experience I have ever been through. My family are Christians and therefore anti-abortion, and so too were some of my friends, although for reasons other than religion. The best thing I did after the operation was to surround myself with people who were truly a support, and only with those kinds of people. Maybe you'll be one of those 99% who experience guilt and shame and grief post-op, and quite frankly you do not need anyone around you who cannot hold you non-judgementally whilst you are crying and grieving for such a loss. So, my best tip is to surround yourself with people who have been through it, and this web-site seems the perfect place!
- If you are dealing with an unplanned pregnancy and you are considering an abortion, I know it must be an extremely and devastatingly difficult time for you. I had my abortion over a year ago, and I'm still dealing with the pain. But this is not to say that I would change my decision if I had the chance to do it over. I am a Muslim, so there was no way I could have told my parents about my being pregnant, so if I had kept the baby, I would have lost not only my chance at a life, but also my own parents and relatives would have kicked me out of their lives. sometimes I think I was selfish but what could I have given to a child when I myself would have nothing, just high school education, no job, no family, nothing. The father of the aborted baby has been with me all the way, and I know that I am probably much luckier than others in that sense. But find a friend or your mom or a counselor, someone you can trust, and lean on them. Because sometimes it gets really tough, and the only person you can talk to about it, is someone who knows what you went through, and not only that, someone who understands what you feel. Think about it carefully, and if you believe that this is the right decision for you at the time, then go ahead. And remember, that everyone changes with experiences. Before my abortion, my counselor suggested that I write down all my reasons for the abortion on a piece of paper, so that if, many years later, I wondered why in the world I did it, I could look back and see my reasons. And maybe later you might think that it was not the right decisions. But remember you are making the decision that seems right for you RIGHT NOW, for the person you are right now, for the situation you are in right now. If later on you feel you made the wrong decision, don't blame yourself, because people change over time, situations change over time. And maybe you won't regret your decision. While I am pro-choice, I don't believe that abortion should be used as a form of contraception... only in exceptions...
Anyway, find faith in yourself and be strong and try to make a decision that seems right for you right now.
- If you are sure then do it! Think of the life the child will have or the life the child will not have. Weigh your options. Make sure that you can live with the decision you made.
I am living with my decision. It's a misnomer that all women who have abortions walk out of the clinic with a smile or that they leave distraught in tears. I am in the middle. I am content with the decision I have made but at the same time I grieve for a part of me lost. Good luck! BE CERTAIN THAT YOU DO WHAT YOU CAN LIVE WITH. NOT WHAT LOBBYISTS SAY, NOT WHAT YOUR MOTHER TELLS YOU BUT WHAT YOU CAN LIVE WITH. THIS IS YOUR LIFE!
- I want everyone to know that abortion is a choice. Its something personal that a woman has to make for herself. not to make anyone happy. You have to think about it alot and all the other options and how they will change your life. whatever choice anyone during pregnancy is the one they have to live with. I think alot of factors come into play when making that decision.Its not a over nice decision either. I think anyone should step back and see the situation as a whole and not be taking in by the moment. think with your head not with your heart. even thought the heart tells you something doesn't mean its right. Ofcourse sometimes the heart over powers the head. I think if you don't understand the consequences of any of the abortions you really need to. I personally read alot about and knew what was involved even though i never Imagined the psychological effects it would have on me. but it doesn't happen to everyone. its whatever is best for you and your situation because everyone is different.
- BestAdvice: I got pregnant when I was 17 years old. I was so afraid to tell my mom Im not sure why we have a great relationship,I guess I was afraid she would think different about me.The guy I got pregnant by wouldn't talk to me about it so I knew I was not going to get any help or support from him.So I told my mom and she made all the plans for an abortion.I wasn't sure what I wanted to do but I went along with her plans because I felt like I had to afterall I was 17 and still in school and she was raising 3 daughters on her own .I felt like how could I even think about keeping the baby.I didn't realize what an Impact my decision would have on me. It has been really hard because I have a guilt about what I did but now that Im older I think I made the best decision for me. Im married now with 3 beautiful children.People will try to make your mind up for you but you have to do whats best for you.You do have choices just make sure they are your choices.
BestAdvice: I have one fourteen year old daughter and have had one abortion.
I raised my daughter totally on my own and it has been extremely difficult. There is very little community support out there for single mothers and raising children is very expensive.
I if I had had the support of family and community and an adequate income the situation would have been very different but as it is my daughter has missed out on a lot due to our poverty. I elected to have an abortion eighteen months ago because I knew that the father was not reliable and that I would be doing it all by myself again and I couldn't Impose that on my unborn child, my very much alive daughter or myself.
My advice would be to objectively review your support network: is it really supportive or not? Can you count on it based on past experience? what is you financial situation and is that likely to change following the birth of your child? Where is the father now? Can you count on the father for anything, including his absence, is he consistently anything: reliable, unreliable, kind, violent, generous, stingy? Where will you live? What are your spiritual beliefs and how does abortion or single parenthood fit in with that?
I think when you have real answers to these and any other questions that affect you you will be able to clarify your situation.
And talk to a counselor or your doctor. Get lots of opinions if you are uncertain. Get ALL the facts. And know that you have nothing to be ashamed of: most people here have been through what you went through and most of us are very cool women, regardless of our decision.
- BestAdvice: In April it will be one year since my ab. The best advice that I can give is to be strong and make your own decisions. As women we tend to do what we think will make others happy( our husbands,boyfriends, parents). We often act selflessly and think only ofthe emotions of other. But when making the decision to have an ab you need to think of yourself. How you feel, what you want and how this is going to affect your life forever. Abs change things, like relationships and point-of-views. And please remember that there is no magic time machine, once you have had an ab you can not go back. Looking back after a year I would say that I would change my choice if I could.
- BestAdvice: My abortion was late October 1999. If I could give one piece of advice it would be to find someone
supportive you can talk to and rely on for help (should you need it). Of course, tell only people you really trust
about what's happening, but if one or more of those people makes you feel worse, or react in a way
that doesn't take into account your feelings, fears, and needs...then they aren't the people to rely on.
For over 3 months I tried to rely on my b/f for support during and after my pregnancy, but although he
tried to be there for me, he didn't take my feelings seriously and didn't really believe that my depression was
anything more than a lack of willpower. Only a couple of weeks ago, faced with unbearable depression, I finally
broke down and told my parents what had happened to me. I've since been diagnosed with clinical depression
(and/or PASS) and am finally getting medical help for this disease.
Just remember that no matter what anyone tells you, even if they're just trying to help in their own way, your
feelings are valid and real and not to be ignored. Swallowing your emotions and hoping they go away will only
make you sick, and possibly delay the whole healing process. Listen to what your mind and body tell you!
Take care... : )
- BestAdvice: Before my abortion I was told about the emotional pain you can suffer afterward. I was told that 99% of
people experience guilt, almost as many have anger, etc. What I was not told about was the extreme physical
pain I would endure after the procedure. I was awake for the procedure, which was hell, the Images never leave your head.
I heard the suction machine, I remember everything, and I always will. After I left the recovery room, where I was told
to breathe as I was barely breathing, I went to the washroom to get dressed and a gush of blood came out and splashed all over the floor and my
clothes. I bled heavily that day, and for a week or two afterward, and 7 months later I am still bleeding. Not constantly
but about every two weeks I will get cramping and bleeding, the cramping is a little more often though. The day of the abortion
I went home and i had what felt like severe menstrual cramps all day. I could barely walk it was so bad, and this lasted a few days.
The ab doctor gave me no painkillers as he said it would subside after the first day, that normal activities, except bathing and sex and douching,
can be resumed after the first day. The emotional pain I have been through is worse than the physical pain, but the physical pain was pretty
extreme. I have one child, and have been through labor and a c-section, and the pain from the abortion wasn't much less. But at least with the c-section,
I had a child to show for my pain, a reason to make it all worth while, instead of an empty hole that I have from my second pregnancy.
I would never wish what I went through on anyone, and I would never recommend an abortion to anyone. I was forced into mine, I never have
believed in abortion.
BestAdvice: If you find that you are pregnant, you are not alone. Tell someone... anyone. By keeping this a secret you are robbing yourself of other's wisdom and experience. The good news is that you can learn from my mistakes and from other women. There places you can go (Birthright) who won't judge you according to your beliefs or circumstances. They are there only for you... to support you in what you decide.
Please don't ignore the fact that some of us can not have children. We long to hear the pitter patter of feet and to change the diapers and to see the smiles... please try to consider us... we would love your child... we would take care of your child... you would be given a special place in our families hearts... you would be giving us the greatest gift...
You have the future of many people in your hands. Not only yours, but your babys, childless families, etc... please don't take this responsibility lightly...
If you are in a situation where you are unwantedly pregnant please look at your life and see what brought you there... you need to take care of yourself because no one else on this earth will do it for you... Do not blame everyone else, just look for what you can control... believe me anything you have to change will be worth it...
Remember that we have been there... you are not alone... you are not the first nor the last to travel this road... only you can chose what the consequences will be...
You are not a bad person... you are not a tramp... a hooker... a slut... a whore... You are a Female... you have the power and control... you have strength beyond what others can Imagine... you can make it through anything that is thrown at you... I am not saying it will be easy or unpainful... I am saying that you will grow through this...
Thank you for reading the words of a rambling (old) 23 year old... I would love to be there to help you... I would love to support you... There are others like me... just look around...
- BestAdvice: An abortion may seem to be the easiest way out at the moment, but it's not I am 23 years old and I thought that this would be the best thing to do. Our reasons may be very valid for deciding on a termination of pregnancy, but be prepared to deal with the results. No one tells you how bad your heart hurts after you have one. The emptiness inside of you builds day after day, trying to fill this void that you may sometimes forget you have, only to be reminded by something that triggers yur mind back into the state of remembrance. This is something you will never forget!!! It lives with you daily. The constant wondering of what ifs...... and the pain of not having ,or feeling the baby grow inside of you...empty and all alone. It was my baby..a life.....You have one ..Please keep it,for the effects after a termination are very very painful, and they last a lifetime.
- BestAdvice: My best advice to someone thinking about having an abortion is to listen to someone when they say things will work out if you decide to have the child. I wish I would have told my parents or someone who really cared for me, who might have told me everything would be okay if I had my child. Also, don't rule out adoption. I was selfish in thinking that I could not stand knowing my child was being raised by another family. Now I wish my child would have had the chance at life. Take as much time as you can to make this decision, it will always be with you.Lastly, have an ultrasound done..see your baby. I chose a doctor that did not force an ultrasound, I believe I would have kept my child had I gotten an ultrasound. No matter how small the fetus..it is your baby. Pray for strength to make the right decision.
BestAdvice: I would never do it again. Believe in yourself, don't listen to other people and let them talk you in to something you really don't want to do. The physical pain goes away, but the mental anguish never will. I think about it everyday.
BestAdvice: I had an abortion 2 months ago and although I have no regrets I am sad. I never wanted to have to make the decision about terminating a pregnancy or not but when I found out I was pregnant, I was forced to. The father had been my boyfriend at the time of conception but before we even knew I was pregnant, we had broken up. It was stupidity on our part-we had unprotected sex on and off in our 5-month relationship and finally it caught up with us. I chose to have the abortion for a few reasons. First of all, I had been raised catholic and my parents not only don't believe in a woman's right to chose but also premarital sex. They would never have expected something like this from me so I felt I couldn't disappoint them. Secondly, I am only 18 and still living at home, financially supported by my parents. I couldn't afford the costs. And last, I was not in a stable relationship. Me and the father weren't right for each other and still are not. He would not have been there for me or the baby and he pretty much said that flat out. I did it, and do not regret it. I thought it out thoroughly and weighed my options. I researched the risks, the procedure and the after effects. I couldn't see any reason not to do it. It was the first adult decision I made all by myself and I am proud that I had the strength and confidence. I am sad because that was my first child and I will never get to hold him but I gave him to God who I believe can take care of him better than me. I learned a lot from this experience and feel that I have grown. I am stronger now and believe I can face anything. My advice to any woman faced with this decision is to follow your heart, as you should in any matter. I think that you should think things out, weigh your options and chose what is best for you. All I can tell you is to look at what I was faced with and look what I've become.
- BestAdvice: Please listen to your what your heart and soul are telling you to do before you decide to have an abortion. I listened to others, who thought they knew what was best for me. Don't let anyone convince you that abortion is the right thing for you. Do some soul searching for yourself before you make such a life changing decision. Others may be upset with you if you decide to continue the pregnancy, but they will get over their disappointment. If you are pressured into an abortion, you will have to live with that for the rest of your life. Just make sure you can be at total peace with your decision, whatever it may be.
- BestAdvice: For me, finding out I was pregnant was the most devastating thing that could ever happen. I'm 18 years old and had an abortion 2 months ago. I had an abortion because of a couple reasons. My age is one of them. I feel that I am way too young to be a mother and have that responsibility. In know women who are my age that have had kids and I just couldn't handle what they have. I also was not in a stable relationship. The father of my baby had been my boyfriend at the time but we had broken up before I ever found out I was pregnant. I want to go to college and make something of myself. I want my parents to be proud of me even though if they knew of my abortion they would not be. My dad had a heart attack a year ago and I just could not Imagine telling him I was pregnant. It would kill him. I thought of my baby as well. She would not have had a father. I couldn't support me and a baby financially. I have no regrets about what I did. I am sad that it ever had to happen to me, I'll say that. I cry sometimes because I want my baby to understand why I did it. I want her to know that I love her and wish I could have given her the life she deserved. I gave her to God because I know he can take better care of her then I could have. An abortion is not an easy thing. It will haunt you forever. I am one of the lucky ones and wasn't forced in to my decision and I think that's why I'm at peace with it. If there was any way under the moon and stars that I could have given her what she needed I would have her. My best advice to women out there who are in a situation where I was 2 months ago is take it all into consideration. Think of not only yourself, but your baby and family. Maybe abortion isn't the answer for you but as long as you clearly think things through you will be okay. God loves you no matter what you do. I believe in second chances at things. No matter what you decide, let it be your decision.
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